I am not for this world.

Sophie: …It concentrated me to the exclusion of everything else. It was like a drug. Everything Else? The world has just become so inhuman. Everyone’s plugged in. Blindingly inarticulate, obsessed with money, their careers, stupidly, arrogantly content. I can’t talk to them. I fight them. I wanna destroy them even. I crave interaction, I crave it. But you just can’t anymore. They pull their devices out for every little thing, to reinforce their petty, convenient notions. To decide where they are going to shop, what they are going to eat, what movies they are gonna watch. Everything they ingest.

Therapist: Why does that upset you?
Sophie: Because what is left, oh my god.

Therapist: But that doesn’t have to be you.
Sophie: Okay. Its like this is all a game and I haven’t been told what the rules are. Or even worse. If I had, I am ill-equipped to follow them. All I can do is provoke. I become spiteful. I’m just as bad as they are. They? I’m, I’m worse. I fucking hate myself for it. I am so fucking lonely. Why is the world so base? Why is it so insensitive? Why is it so selfish? Why am I? I am not for this world.


Anesthesia

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